Sunday, February 21, 2016

May the diabetes be with you!


I don’t browse. Send me to the grocery store for milk, eggs, bread, and I’m in and out in minutes. I’m a man on a mission!

Last night on the way home from the movies, we stopped at the local grocery store around eight minutes before closing.  NO PROBLEM! Speed shopping is my super power!

Taking a shortcut down the cereal aisle, there it was. The Box. A box of candy on the shelf where you are supposed to find cereal. I stopped, frozen. The clock was still ticking - the store closes at 10pm. But I could not move.

Why are they selling candy in the cereal aisle? No, wait. They are selling toys? They are selling toys AND candy - in the cereal aisle. What the hell is going on here?

Star Wars toys - in a box of candy - in a cereal box. I must investigate!  I’m buying this box and taking it home with me - for science!

Hershey’s Cocoa & Reese’s Peanut Butter Sweet and Crunchy Corn Puffs!

An EXCLUSIVE Droid Viewer is inside the box!  And, in case you are looking for a new hobby, there are SIX to collect, including BB-8! 

OMG! I love, LoVe, LOVE BB-8!

Wow. Marketing GENIUS. From the side of the box: “WE BELIEVE IN THE GOODNESS OF WHOLE GRAIN CEREAL. Cereal is packed with nutrients and contains complete grains, which can help fuel your morning ~ General Mills.

Now, if you are grocery shopping, and you have your child in the cart and you drive down the cereal aisle, you are nuts. If you go anywhere NEAR the cereal aisle, you are activating the launch sequence of screaming child tantrum DEFCON 5. There should be warning signs like on a ski slope: this is a BLACK DIAMOND aisle. FOR ADULTS ONLY!

Who is the marketing genius behind this strategy? And, if you buy ONE box, you need to buy five more boxes, right? If you are not going to complete the collection of six droid viewers, the FORCE will NOT be with you!

Now here is my final question: if you go down the cereal aisle as an adult shopper WITHOUT a screaming child in your care, and you STILL walk out of the store with this (Candy - Toy - Healthy, Nutritionally Focused Cereal) purchase, you are:

  • A STAR WARS action figure collector
  • Someone who wants diabetes (for you or your child)
  • You need material for your Sunday blog

Marketing. It’s good for ya.


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