Sunday, June 24, 2012

Tech Project: Your Goose is Cooked

This chart will help you determine approximately how long to roast stuffed and unstuffed turkey. Always use a meat thermometer. For a stuffed turkey, the roasting time may vary up to 30 minutes, depending upon the bird and the oven. Use the meat thermometer to check the temperature of the dressing.

The center of the dressing inside the bird (or in a separate baking dish) must reach a temperature of 165 degrees F. for food safety.

For an unstuffed turkey, place the meat thermometer in the thickest part of the thigh, taking care that it does not touch any bone. Roast the turkey until the meat thermometer reaches 165 degrees F. Let the bird rest at least 30 minutes before carving to allow the juices to re-absorb into the flesh. You don't want the moisture to drain out. Roasting times below are for a preheated 325 degrees F. oven.

Approximate Roasting Times for Stuffed Turkey
Turkey WeightHours
6 to 8 pounds3 to 3-1/2 hours
8 to 12 pounds3-1/2 to 4-1/2 hours
12 to 16 pounds4-1/2 to 5-1/2 hours
16 to 20 pounds5-1/2 to 6 hours
20 to 24 pounds6 to 6-1/2 hours
Approximate Roasting Times for Unstuffed Turkey
Turkey WeightHours
6 to 8 pounds2-1/2 to 3 hours
8 to 12 pounds3 to 4 hours
12 to 16 pounds4 to 5 hours
16 to 20 pounds5 to 5-1/2 hours
20 to 24 pounds5-1/2 to 6 hours

Did I lose you yet?

What does any of this have to do with technology? And why are we talking about turkeys in June? is a huge hit on TV and the Internet. You don’t go into a shoe store, or a car dealership, or toy store, or bookstore every single day. But all across America, people shop in grocery stores practically every day. We all know food, and in the USA, we have raised the buying, the cooking and the serving of all things “food” to an art-form. All things “food” have become mainstream, and all things food has become high-tech.

Now, what is the BIGGEST “food” day of the entire year? THANKSGIVING!  And what is the headline act of this amazing event? The TURKEY!  And the cooking of a turkey is not that easy. If you “Google” How to Cook a Turkey you will get about 543,000,000 hits and you will find tons of websites like dedicated to the proper preparation and the proper cooking of a turkey.

If you do not cook the turkey properly, you will have issues. If you cook it too long, it will become dry. If you don’t cook it long enough, it will not be very tasty. And, if you do not get the core temperature of the turkey up to 165 degrees Fahrenheit, it can be dangerous. Your guests could wind up in the Emergency Room.

And yet, every year, millions of first-time “cooks” successfully navigate the required tasks, and a turkey dinner is served. And under most cases, there are no trips to the emergency room. 

Remember your first-time hosting Thanksgiving for the family? No pressure, right?

Does the building a website, the running an eCommerce store, or the required mastery of new online software (for your new job) have you worried? Is the use of Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest,, really more complex than cooking a turkey? Saying “I never did this before” or “this is too hard for me” is not acceptable. Certainly not a good excuse, with all the free help and real-time assistance available. If excuses were allowed, we would all be eating cereal on Thanksgiving.

I have never cooked a turkey. I have never hosted a dinner party. I am a frequent visitor to our kitchen, but my favorite appliance is the refrigerator, not the oven. I love any holiday that produces a tryptophan coma. I am a big fan of all things cooked that also need to be stuffed.  Food stuffed with food, pure genius.

Ladies and gentleman, anyone reading this who have successfully served a turkey dinner, you are more than qualified to do my job. You can do anything in the world of telecom or technology. I cannot do your job - but you can do mine. 

A turkey dinner appears on a dining room table for one and only one reason: the cook is determined to finish. Not just start the task - but finish. The cook, the chef, the boss of the kitchen is highly motivated to produce the finished product, the results. They own the job, and they will finish the job. Failure is not an option, and there WILL be a cooked bird on the table, period.

Don’t let anything in the world of telecom or technology scare you.  Attack your next technology challenge with the same energy, conviction and passion as a new bride hosting her first Thanksgiving. Get help, ask for help, figure it out, research it, buy a cookbook, watch a video - but do it. 1-800-Butterball is staffed 24 x 7 with free, expert hand-holding and no-charge "turkey coaching" from master chefs. 

You can do it. Anyone can do it - but - only if you truly want to do it. Failure in technology matters comes from a lack of passion, and a lack of motivation. Failure in technology related projects does not come from a lack of skill or talent. You were not born with the knowledge of how to build a website, no more than you were born with the knowledge of how to properly cook a turkey. I see shows like “Cake Boss” and “Hell’s Kitchen” are big hits on prime time TV. Maybe we will soon see Turkey Wars on public will probably "gobble up" that reality TV show, don’t you think?

< ...did he really just say that.........? >

*** BONUS***   A little BBQ Humor (very little)
BBQ Rules
We are entering the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he flips the meat.

Important again:

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her 'night off,' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

1 comment:

  1. Never have I been more anxious for Thanksgiving in June before....